Cow Tales

OK, before I tell this story, let's get one thing straight - I am not ignorant. I openly admit (and am proud to say) that I know NOTHING of agriculture. I grew up in the Suburbs - not a whole lotta livestock in the 'Burbs ( Ok, we had a goat and a duck, but they were out of their element and another story altogether...). AND, while my private school had many clubs - 4H was not then, and I can assure you - WILL never be- one of them.

Anyway, that being said - I just had to share what, to me, was a rather hilarious incident on the way home from our weekend retreat in Garmisch....

So, after a long day of exploring the Alps it was time to head back home. I should have known something was a little odd when "Mandi" (the GPS) immediately informed me that the new route she had JUST recalculated for us, due to traffic, had a NEW traffic delay of unknown origin and duration and she DIDN'T recalculate a new route. She'd never done that before. Maybe a new accident since it had just started to rain ?

We're heading down the very busy main road thru town ( think old, 2 lane ,280 during rush hour) and within just a few blocks - all cars come to a stop. And the cars on BOTH sides start trying to move over...
"What the...?" Coming straight down the middle of the road, splitting traffic like it was nothing - was the largest animal, with horns, I had seen up close, not at a zoo.

Immediately, I thought "What is a bull doing strolling thru traffic in downtown Garmisch"? But wait - right behind it were several more. Thoughts THEN went something along the lines of " A running of the bulls? Nope. They're not running and this is Germany ,not Spain. Not their thing - the only time German's get that worked up about something is if it involves some sort of football (soccer) cup...." "Hummm.... maybe it's just a lost cow of some sort?" This last part was spoken out loud, it seems...

Kailey pipes up from the back " NO, Mommy!!! it's the ones that work at the Texas Roadhouse!" Huh? "What, baby?" Kailey - "You KNOW! They have their heads on the wall?"....

LOL. Ah, yes! My brilliant little girl - you are correct. This large cow with horns is a STEER. WOW! and walking in a herd thru the middle of town no less... Colby then says " Is it a stampede?" "No, honey. I think they are just being herded, maybe?" Colby - "well then, where's the cowboys and dogs?" Good question......

So, now there are MANY large steers on this tiny, 2 lane, packed traffic way. German's drive micro cars (have you seen the Smart Car or Mini Cooper? German....) and their roads have always been built accordingly. I, on the other hand, drive the large Jeep Grand Cherokee that is always too big for the roads here and this moment was going to be tricky.

Colby pops up from the back again, "Hey Mommy ? What happens if we hit one of those things?" ( Just what I was thinking, actually...) "Well, I guess USAA buys me a new car, the farmer gets half our next paycheck, and Daddy finally gets that steak he's been wanting... ha, ha, ha...." ( yeah - so if Germans DON'T eat or serve beef ANYWHERE - why ARE there steers in the middle of this road?)

At this point Colby panics -" Are they MAD?!?!" ( This is a common fear of Colby's ever since we got to Germany and mistakenly explained to him that the reason we don't eat meat here is because of the MAD cow disease that was a problem when we lived here before. It's just habit).

Kailey - missing what Colby is getting at - goes " Well,Bro, they're walking thru town in the middle of cars that might make them dead, no farmer, and it's poring down rain...but they don't LOOK mad...confused,maybe...."

LOL! I LOVE taking these two out - they provide such hilarious commentary on life....

Kailey then turns around to look at the steers that have already passed and says "Hey, Mom? I think they escaped. That middle one just turned left at the 'Ray's table dancing' sign. I don't think he wants go where the other ones are going. Maybe he wants to see tables dance, too....Uh, Mom? How DO they make the tables dance ?".... Yeahhhhh, um, Garmisch has a US Army post as well.....

So, we continue on thru the herd, trying not buy any steaks ( but funnily enough - all 3 of us munching on Beef Jerky, our favorite road trip snack) and FINALLY! we get down to one....sad, slow, steer....accompanied by what looked like a tiny 100 yr old man......on a BICYCLE..... with a road hazard triangle attached to the front.....

It was a fabulously entertaining end to a relaxing weekend.

While an unusual experience for us - it must be common in Garmisch. When I got home and pulled out the stack of postcards I had purchased ? One of them had a "scenes of Garmisch" collage which prominently featured, yes, a farmer holding a steer, on the street....